![]() Retroactive jealousy tends to be about the person feeling it. Setting limits on your social media time or blocking your partner’s exes’ accounts may help you avoid seeing glamorous glimpses into their lives. It can be an unrealistic outlet for comparison. Social media is a platform where people, including exes, showcase their best lives. You may find it useful to keep a journal where you can list all the positive aspects of your relationship and why you and your partner make a strong team. If you feel as though you don’t hold a candle to your partner’s ex, it can be helpful to remember you’re the one currently in a relationship with them. When you’re down on yourself, it can feel easy to compare your negatives to a partner’s ex’s positives. Practicing assertive communication with your partner may help clear up any misunderstandings or doubts you may have about their stance on past partnerships. While this might seem like a sign they’re holding onto that relationship, maybe your partner isn’t aware the picture was lumped in with other papers. Maybe you found a picture of your partner’s ex in their desk, for example. Sometimes, communication is key in managing unwanted thoughts about your partner’s past relationships. Introspection may help you determine what inner fears or doubts are fueling retrospective jealousy. Often, in a healthy relationship, you may find retroactive jealousy isn’t justified and what you’re feeling is about you, not your partner’s past. You can start by using a grounding technique to help re-center yourself in the moment, followed by writing your thoughts and emotions, and focusing on the facts instead of your fears. Miner recommends taking a step back when you find yourself experiencing retroactive jealousy, to see where those feelings and unwanted thoughts are really coming from. These tips may help you stop retroactive jealousy if you find yourself feeling jealous of your partner’s past: Introspection Yes, you and your partner may overcome any type of jealousy, including retroactive. “When jealousy is intense, it can make you feel like you are losing control of your emotions and you may even act out in destructive ways.” “Feeling jealous about your partner’s past is a common experience for many people,” explains Miner. accuse you of remaining in contact or cheating with your ex, whether true or not.imagine scenarios where you choose your ex over them.comment on how exes were more attractive or more accomplished.make sarcastic or degrading comments about your exes or relationships.In addition to information gathering, a partner experiencing retroactive jealousy may: The use of social networking sites as tools to find out more about your partner’s past is common.Īccording to a 2018 interview-based study, researchers found online social networks may encourage retroactive jealousy through comparison, allowing partners to fact-check past relationship details and access digital relationship remnants. Only a professional can accurately diagnose a condition. Not everyone who experiences retroactive jealousy lives with a mental health disorder. When retroactive jealousy is persistent and severe enough to negatively impact important areas of your life, it may be a symptom of an underlying mental health disorder, such as: Sporadic retroactive jealousy is possible when you find out your partner hasn’t let go of memories of the past.įor example, keeping photos or souvenirs of a past relationship around the house or comparing the current relationship to previous ones. chronic medical conditions (like Parkinson’s disease).health challenges associated with hormonal fluctuations.past experiences of infidelity, even if with other partners.It may arise when you feel your partner still values or treasures something in their past and that affection could take their love away from you.Ī 2017 systematic review of 230 studies on romantic jealousy found this emotion was often rooted in: Retroactive jealousy is a form of jealousy, with many of the same causes. Why are you jealous of your partner’s past?
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